“But what if the movie’s not any good?”
That’s the question posed at the end of FANBOYS (2008) a heartfelt romp of a film in which a band of hardcore STAR WARS fans, take a cross-country road trip from Ohio to Skywalker Ranch in California. Their goal is to infiltrate the headquarters and see STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE, months before the film is scheduled for official release in 1999.
To put things into perspective, STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE, although the fourth STAR WARS film to be released chronologically, is the first film in the entire STAR WARS epic. And it was the first STAR WARS film to be released since RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983). Sixteen years was a long time to wait for the unwashed masses of STAR WARS fans and many of them camped out for several days outside of theaters showing the film. Now that’s hardcore. But again, what if the movie’s not any good?”
The FANBOYS screenplay was written by bonafide fanboy himself, Ernest Cline, who went on to write the bestselling science fiction novel READY PLAYER ONE which was filmed by Steven Spielberg in 2018. Cline gets everything about obsessive fandom correct and it’s a treat to watch.
The four friends, Windows, Hutch, Eric and Linus are joined midway in their adventure by Zoe, who turns out to be attracted to Windows. Besides wanting to see the film, the boys also want to undertake the quest in support of Linus, who is dying of terminal cancer.
Like any road trip movie, the pals encounter many wild people and circumstances along the way. There are terrific cameo appearances by William Shatner, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, and Kevin Smith. They come to blows against a group of hardcore STAR TREK fans, inadvertently get picked up by a couple of escorts in Las Vegas and encounter geek god himself Harry Knowles. The actor portraying Knowles is spot on, but I bet he didn’t smell as bad as Knowles himself. Hard to believe that at one time, Harry Knowles ruled the internet and film fandom like no one else. His downfall came when he was accused of sexual harassment by several women working for the Alamo Drafthouse.
The team eventually reach their destination but are stopped by security guards decked out like the police officers in Lucas’s debut feature film THX-1138. Lucas grants them a viewing of the film but it’s for an audience of one: Linus. Fade to black and pick up the narrative outside of a theater where the remaining friends are waiting to see PHANTOM MENACE. The audience erupts into ear shattering chaos when the 20th Century Fox logo and fanfare fill the screen. This is it. This is the moment they’ve been waiting for; the moment they risked everything for. But just as the film starts, the $20 million dollar question is given voice when one of the four asks “but what if the movie isn’t any good?”
FANBOYS ends there but to answer the question, yes, PHANTOM MENACE wasn’t any good. It was a great, thudding bore of a film and boring is something a STAR WARS film should never be. A muck-encrusted sow of a film, PHANTOM MENACE disappointed casual fans and absolutely devastated the hardcore Jedi wannabes who had sacrificed so much for their beloved far, far away galaxy. Many of these misfits felt personally betrayed by George Lucas, who, returning to the director’s chair, indulged himself with CGI technology and questionable characterizations in part one of what was always projected to be a nine-film series. You can skip PHANTOM MENACE and start with ATTACK OF THE CLONES, and you’ll still get most of the story.
But don’t miss FANBOYS. It’s an absolute delight of a film. The force is strong with this one.
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